Recently, I made an hour-long return to Sucks. Since then, many have asked me why I don't make a permanent return to "reinvigorate" an ailing
Sucks. I believe that this segment of the posters at Sucks is in the minority but to appease them, I will offer a weekly column that expresses my personal
viewpoints on the weeks' episodes.
I dedicate this and all of my future weekly postings to a special poster on this board.
I will not be "interacting" with any posters or post anything besides my weekly offering. Please feel free to comment on my viewpoints and discuss/debate them amongst yourselves. I am not returning to defend myself or expose my life; I am simply posting how I personally interpreted the most recent episode of Survivor: Pearl Islands.
I will be writing in my usual "style"; don't expect anything to change. Feel free to talk shit about me too; I really don't give a shit and won't stop you. When I feel that my weekly commentary is falling upon deaf ears, I will stop posting.
Week 1:
As many of you may or may not know, I actually sort of know Nicole. She is a nice chick from what I knew but I could tell she was not meant for this game. She is cool if you're cool with her though. She looked pretty hot sometimes.
The mortician looked kind of good from certain angles.
The black chick was cute and I have a weakness for chicks with that bubbly personality. She'd be cool to hang out with but I am not physically attracted to her although I can see her beauty.
As far as the men go, I am sure many of you are waiting with baited breath for my sexually-motivated opinions. And here you go...
Andrew is like a hot dad. It isn't like a "daddy" in the porn sense of the term; it is like a hot guy who happens to be a dad (a DILF if you will). I bet he is awful in bed though and probably would be completely lost if I got my way with him to teach him shit. His dick looked kind of hot in his wet boxers though.
Ryan O. is a hot-ass bottom. I bet you I could fuck him and he'd scream like a little bitch. And I'd like it too. I would put my fingers in his mouth as I topped him.
Shawn is pretty hot. He would be a top for me. He can stand to lose some fat in the mid-section area though but you can clearly see definition of hip flexors, abs, and obliques of yesteryear. He looks like he pounds hard; I could handle him though.
Burton is hot and my favorite. I am no longer completely against chest hair on men; however, I only am turned on if said chest hair is trimmed, as Burton's is. I do not like all men with chest hair. I am merely saying that I can find sexual appeal in some men with chest hair. Fear not - up is not down and down is not up. I can so imagine myself having sex with Burton and showing him what he has been missing (supposedly).
Overall, although the men could all use some ab definition (although the culprit might be extra pounds for the purpose of the show), I am pleasantly pleased. I am still waiting for a hot blonde guy (like this guy from my not-so-new work).
I am also quite confused by the lack of boxerbriefs. This itself is an indication that this show is rigged because the mathematical probability of none of the male contestants wearing boxerbriefs is essentially zero. It would be hot to see some wet boxerbriefs on this program after or during a challenge. It would be like when you get into a hot tub in just your underwear because it is a spontaneous suggestion from whoever you are with to enter the hot tub but you did not plan to so you get in in your underwear. At least for me since I always wear boxerbriefs.
The whole "Pearl Islands" name reminds me of a "pearl necklace" which I have many fond memories of. If you would like, I will share them with you in future installments. Any requests will be considered.
Until next week...happy week.
And go USC.
Discuss.
I dedicate this and all of my future weekly postings to a special poster on this board.
I will not be "interacting" with any posters or post anything besides my weekly offering. Please feel free to comment on my viewpoints and discuss/debate them amongst yourselves. I am not returning to defend myself or expose my life; I am simply posting how I personally interpreted the most recent episode of Survivor: Pearl Islands.
I will be writing in my usual "style"; don't expect anything to change. Feel free to talk shit about me too; I really don't give a shit and won't stop you. When I feel that my weekly commentary is falling upon deaf ears, I will stop posting.
Week 1:
As many of you may or may not know, I actually sort of know Nicole. She is a nice chick from what I knew but I could tell she was not meant for this game. She is cool if you're cool with her though. She looked pretty hot sometimes.
The mortician looked kind of good from certain angles.
The black chick was cute and I have a weakness for chicks with that bubbly personality. She'd be cool to hang out with but I am not physically attracted to her although I can see her beauty.
As far as the men go, I am sure many of you are waiting with baited breath for my sexually-motivated opinions. And here you go...
Andrew is like a hot dad. It isn't like a "daddy" in the porn sense of the term; it is like a hot guy who happens to be a dad (a DILF if you will). I bet he is awful in bed though and probably would be completely lost if I got my way with him to teach him shit. His dick looked kind of hot in his wet boxers though.
Ryan O. is a hot-ass bottom. I bet you I could fuck him and he'd scream like a little bitch. And I'd like it too. I would put my fingers in his mouth as I topped him.
Shawn is pretty hot. He would be a top for me. He can stand to lose some fat in the mid-section area though but you can clearly see definition of hip flexors, abs, and obliques of yesteryear. He looks like he pounds hard; I could handle him though.
Burton is hot and my favorite. I am no longer completely against chest hair on men; however, I only am turned on if said chest hair is trimmed, as Burton's is. I do not like all men with chest hair. I am merely saying that I can find sexual appeal in some men with chest hair. Fear not - up is not down and down is not up. I can so imagine myself having sex with Burton and showing him what he has been missing (supposedly).
Overall, although the men could all use some ab definition (although the culprit might be extra pounds for the purpose of the show), I am pleasantly pleased. I am still waiting for a hot blonde guy (like this guy from my not-so-new work).
I am also quite confused by the lack of boxerbriefs. This itself is an indication that this show is rigged because the mathematical probability of none of the male contestants wearing boxerbriefs is essentially zero. It would be hot to see some wet boxerbriefs on this program after or during a challenge. It would be like when you get into a hot tub in just your underwear because it is a spontaneous suggestion from whoever you are with to enter the hot tub but you did not plan to so you get in in your underwear. At least for me since I always wear boxerbriefs.
The whole "Pearl Islands" name reminds me of a "pearl necklace" which I have many fond memories of. If you would like, I will share them with you in future installments. Any requests will be considered.
Until next week...happy week.
And go USC.
Discuss.
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