This is me screaming: YES! YES! YES! Say it with me. YES! YES! YES! Yes is my new favorite word. Life is so much more fun when you just let go of your fears and say ''YES'' to whatever. Don't believe me? Try it. Today, just say ''YES'' to everything that comes your way. Let me know how it goes.
Okay, so to episode one. Well, here's something I was dead wrong about. I never thought Carolina would be first out. In fact, I thought she could go a long way. I was way off on that one. Too bad, we always seem to lose a cute girl early. What is wrong with these people? Don't they realize this is their show? They should get rid of the ugly and boring people and keep the attractive and entertaining ones. Like Sydney. Please don't turn around and vote out Sydney next week. Carolina may not have understood how to play Survivor but I'm sure there are a few fans already missing her. Whatever. I get paid either way.
While we're here, let's start the blindside tally. That's the first of what will be a record-setting season of blindsides.
I loved our opening twist. We on the Survivor creative team were all rather proud when we stumbled upon the simple but effective notion of ''first impressions'' as an episode 1 twist. In fact, if I remember correctly, we all downed a case of Brazilian beer as a toast to ourselves. The twist worked and it plays out for quite a while.
Sandy and Sierra are clearly still in trouble as a result of the first impression vote, but you have to admit, it's amazing that neither of them were the first person voted out, all things considered. I think Sandy took a risky approach - clearly selfish and probably based on the fact that she feels a bit ''odd woman out'' due to age. Sierra impressed me with her desire to instantly try to win back favor on her tribe by working hard on the shelter. I think it worked. Hard work and the ability to say... ''YES''... can get you a long way in life. I bet Sierra wins the whole thing! Ka-ching! Either that or she'll fall in love with a Survivor producer and make cute little Survivor babies. I still get paid either way.
''And now here's something we think you'll really enjoy!'' (Can anyone name that cartoon character?) We have something very special for you fans this season, it's a new Survivor philosophy, you might even call it a religion of sorts. IT goes by the name Coach. Stay open to IT. Stay open to Coach. Beautiful things may emerge if you just open your arms and accept what Coach can offer you. Salvation? I doubt it. Great laughs? Absolutely. Coach is a star. He was meant to be on Survivor. I only wish we could clone him. I'm already pushing CBS to do another All-Star season just so we can have him back. Plus, my friend Serena already likes Coach, so there's that.
We have so many great characters this season. I'd list some of them but that would just irritate the ones I left off. Oh who cares, like I said, I get paid either way. Okay, in no particular order: Tyson, J.T., Steven, Sierra, Brendan, Taj, Sandy, Debbie, Spencer, Erinn. Yes I know you are already wondering if that means these people last a long time. Guess you'll have to watch to find out...and maybe I left one or two off the list just to throw you off. Maybe. You never know. Especially when I write this blog late at night, I get lippy and sometimes I just say things that simply aren't true.
And let's just get this out of the way, for all the Survivor: Tocantins participants, don't take these blogs too seriously. I only mean half of what I say. The other half of what I feel, I never share at all. It's all just fun. I love you all equally. But mostly Coach.
Next week, Exile Island comes into play. Cue Probst dramatic voice: ''This year, we have the most desolate and unforgiving Exile Island ever.'' Okay, I've said that before too, but this time it really is! You'll see.
Plus, there is a twist on Exile that creates some interesting reality...I won't spoil it, but if only we had thought of this idea a few seasons ago, we'd be crushing American Idol in the ratings. Oh relax, Seacrest, I'm kidding. You guys are still the king. Whatever. Blah, blah, blah. I still get paid...just not nearly as much as you, Ryan. That does bother me a little bit. I'll admit it. I mean I don't do Survivor for the money, but when I see Ryan's house I do get a bit envious. It's a pretty cool house. Then again, he's a cool dude, so I just say ''YES'' and move on with my still glorious life.
It's 2 a.m. as I'm writing this and honestly these blogs are a bit like therapy for me, only $150 an hour cheaper. So far I've saved $50.
Okay is that enough for this first episode blog? Serena says, ''Yes, baby, it's enough already. Come to bed, it's late.'' Ah the imagination. It's a terrible thing to waste.
So be it. To bed I go. Talk next week. Share your comments and as always I'll respond as time allows.
Hmm, he keeps saying this. I wonder if it really turns out to be awesome. It's pretty fucking boring so far.
