HANG IN THERE ALLISON <3
They really need to start posting here.
They really need to start posting here.
0 Kudo
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Michael Slezak and Kristen Baldwin appreciation: KRISTEN FOR AI8
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 sadllama |
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Posts: 5231 (03/30/09 10:38 PM) |
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suckshardcore |
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Posts: 18946 (03/31/09 8:40 AM) Registered user |
Yeah Kristen is my favourite Idolatry co-host but the girl in this video was way funnier than any of the other people who've done it in the past.
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socco |
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Posts: 4 (03/31/09 11:26 AM) |
I am sort of jealous of Michael Slezak now that I see he is sorrounded by hilarious bitches all the time. Life in EW would be fun. |
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Sardonically Irreverent |
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Posts: 13201 (04/03/09 12:00 AM) Registered user |
I fucking loved the show choir. This little web video is pretty much the best comedy being written at the moment in all of entertainmentdom.
<3 |
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fffingybyach |
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Posts: 831 (04/03/09 4:15 AM) |
Not into starting a new thread, so I'll throw my love here to the dlisted.com dude. His reviews of AI this year are hilarious.... here was this weeks
No, this picture is not of a one-girl tribute band to Tokio Hotel. It's not even the broken condom baby of a Sanrio store and a Hot Topic store. It's Allison looking like a Japanese Anime character vommed all over her. The judges just couldn't seem to get past this last night and I just couldn't get past how fucking stupid they are. I think Randy said, "blah...blah..blah....your outfit sucks, dawg!" or something like that. Okay, so she doesn't look as glittery as one of Paula Abdul's Vicodin pills, but bitch didn't look that awful! No, Allison's "Don't Speak" didn't make me want to use my time to scour the internet to download an illegal copy of it, but it wasn't the worst of the night. And all the judges could say is how she looked like a punk rock skunk after getting hit by a semi. Constructive criticism: they are doing it wrong. It wasn't surprising that they didn't make any mention of Adam Lambert's whole look. The bitch is looking more and more like a middle-aged female-to-male tranny doing a really bad impersonation of final days Elvis. No matter what Adam does, the judges will still crawl up his sparkle hole, steal his eggs and use that shit to impregnate themselves. Yeah, that's why Simon's chichis are looking more luscious than usual. He's knocked up with Adam's baby. I mean, Paula Abdul even compared him to Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler!! D.A.R.E. just found the idea for their new campaign! Seriously, STEVEN TYLER?! More like MIA TYLER. I can't even explain the big gay lion's performance of "Play That Funky Music" last night. I might have understood it if he performed it at Disneyland's Tomorrow Land while I was high on acid. That bitch was screeching like someone was waxing his asshole with liquid nails. Put a butt plug in it, take a Valium and calm the fuck down. This is American Idol, not American AHHHHHdol. Now on to predictions. This is actually kind of hard, because last night's real theme was: SHIT! Sure, Kris Allen whispered sweet nothings into my peen hole, but nobody made me jizz in my chonies. But if I must guess: Megan "Doesn't Bring Me" Joy - It's her time. I've had several servings of what she has to offer and spit up every last morsel. Megan has a voice that was meant to sing about dying hearts and cheating peens, not about rainbows and sunshine. Last night in heaven, Bob Marley emptied out his bong faster than normal after listening to Megan murder his song.. Bitch, take your happy ass shit elsewheres! Anoop - Karaoke night is over. It's time to get back to your dorm room, Anoop. Curfew is up! The 3rd bottom spot will either go to Allison, Scott or the Timberlake wannabe. Whores might have liked Scott's Olan Mills hair and his Billy Joel crooning, so my guess is that Allison will wrongfully be in the bottom. They should keep all three of them and instead get rid of the most annoying gnat on that show: Kara DioSTFU. This ho actually said, "It's like Studio 57 in here!" I have five words for Kara: PLEASE FUCKING LEAVE YOU STUPID +$**. Yeah, I know that's 6 words, but I'm using the Kara DioGuardi method of counting |
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Taniwha Is Waiting |
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Posts: 2557 (04/03/09 7:37 AM) Registered User |
"No matter what Adam does, the judges will still crawl up his sparkle hole, steal his eggs and use that shit to impregnate themselves. Yeah, that's
why Simon's chichis are looking more luscious than usual. He's knocked up with Adam's baby."
When I read that, I almost came here to post it. It's so beautiful it damn near brought a tear to my eye! I read DListed everyday - that man's a poet. |
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mom2jdbe |
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Posts: 627 (04/03/09 5:47 PM) Registered user |
Adam may oversing, but this guy overwrites. There are moments of brilliance in there, but he kills it by over-vulgaritizing it.
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fffingybyach |
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Posts: 833 (04/03/09 6:44 PM) |
I really find him hilarious but then again I like vulgar, and I'm an Allison fan so maybe that's it, lol.
his review from last week was hilarious, IMO... You know how there's a trillion pictures on the internet of passed out drunk whores whose friends think it will be really hilarious to graffiti all over their face and shit? Well, that's what Simon Cowell did to Paula Abdul on American Idol last night. Only her eyes were open. Yeah, she keeps 'em open whenever she passes out in a Vicodin haze. The Idol producers hired a professional to teach her how to do that, so nobody would know when she blacked out. Simon brought out the Sharpie during Motown night, which always feels like I'm watching a 2-hour long commercial. Most of the songs should only be played during the couple's reunion on Wife Swap. But some of the whore's made the best of it. Like that little tub of Manic Panic Allison Iraheta. Personally, I thought she gave the best performance of the night, but I'm afraid that she's going to be the star of one of those "OMGSOSHOCKINGWHAT" eliminations coming up. I just want to take her scratchy voice and use it to smooth out the acne on Adam Lambert's face. Adam should get her to sing a Janis Joplin song, so she could hit 60 on the grit-scale and sandblast those pimples right off his mug. Speaking of Adam Laaaaambert the big gay lion, he nailed his K.D. Lang impersonation last night. He does K.D. better than she does herself (not like that). In fact, K.D. should quit whatever the hell she's doing, move to Las Vegas and become an Adam Lambert impersonator. Second career calling! I'm always on the dildo with Adam. Just when I start to sort-of like what he's doing, the judges have to barf up all the gallons of jizz their body created while watching him perform. They need to calm down. They are making me not like him. Yes, his unicorn on helium voice is good sometimes, but the judges all want to shove themselves up his asshole, so that he can give birth to them. They should all run away together and just give Allison the fucking trophy. Also, I took a good look at his face last night and all I saw was a Max Factor factory. As for who will be killed off tonight, I think it's down to three little whores: Megan Joy Dorkey - For once in my life I wanted my TV to kill itself. I'm re-watching her shit right now and my dog cannot take his eyes off the screen. I think he's pulling a STAINS and is trying to use his eye powers to make her fucking stop! I like her voice, but she keeps singing all these Hallmark card songs. This bitch just doesn't get it and for that, she needs to go be pretty somewhere else. Michael Sarver - Why is he still here? Why are we being forced to sleep through his performances? Scott MacIntyre - Scott is sweet. And his pink pants were sweeter, but fuck he's as boring as lukewarm vegetable broth! When I say that I sleep through Sarver's performances, I fall into a coma when Scott comes on. My final guess is that Michael Sarver will be banished from the world tonight
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gabilan |
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Posts: 53 (04/04/09 4:03 AM) |
He's funny, but three paragraphs of tired jokes about Adam's face = overwriter. Tighten it up a bit dude.
I want more idolatry! Don't they work weekends? |
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sadllama |
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Posts: 5356 (04/04/09 6:03 PM) |
New Idolatry is up. They have some douche who's defending Gokey this time though.
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gabilan |
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Posts: 56 (04/04/09 6:22 PM) |
Yay! Less interhost comedy, but hilarious video clips. Allison as Wonder Girl! The Japanese guys again... activate the chip! Love it.
New guy didn't strike me an inherently douchy. He just got brainwashed by the "oh my god, my wife died, I'm so heartbroken, what can I do?, I think I'll go on American Idol and inspire the world" crap. Deactivate his chip and he'll be fine. |
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Licorice |
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Posts: 963 (04/04/09 6:34 PM) |
Yay! Gokey LOVE on Idolatry!!! |
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socco |
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Posts: 24 (04/04/09 6:40 PM) |
The new guys is freaking boooooriing. Where the hell is my Kristen? Death threats from Hokey tards maybe? "What hurs the most was the best performance by Hokey? "" I adore him?" Gimme a break.  To be fair, the creepy perv song PYT is the best so far as long as I close my
eyes. Danny does have a soulful voice ( but not that unique) but this douche doesn't know how to control the dynamics of the vocals, which is never a sign
of good singers. I seriously had to cover my ears when I was just listening to him.
Oh, well, I love the look of Michale's face when this guy wrote Allison off . 
Last Edited By: socco
04/04/09 6:42 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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sadllama |
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Posts: 5357 (04/04/09 6:44 PM) |
You guys need to read Slezak's recaps too, they're just as hilarious as the videos.
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curve31 |
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Posts: 2002 (04/04/09 7:19 PM) Registered user |
That Dave guy <3
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loveski |
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Posts: 1409 (04/04/09 8:13 PM) Registered user |
I like Karger's comments on Kris and Adam (I like that he pointed out the fact that all these young girls are cheering for him) but I cannot tolerate his
love for the Gokey. If he simply liked the voice, ok, but the fact that he was moved by Gokey's exploitation of the dead wife is annoying.
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Nods |
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Posts: 3989 (04/04/09 8:42 PM) Registered User |
Yes the hilariousness of the extremely gay Adam Lambert having all of those female fans is why I love Adam Lambert.
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OhmyEffingGod |
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Posts: 13 (04/04/09 9:17 PM) |
Bring back Kristen please!
The whole point of having Idolatry was the Kara as King Kong footage (another thing I missed this week) interspersed in between the hilariously bitchy commentary by Kristen and Michael. This new Hokey supporter is really the pits. I do find it hysterical how they managed to sync the subtitles so neatly with that random Japanese video. |
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PhantomPlanetQueen |
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Posts: 1222 (04/04/09 10:00 PM) Registered user |
I can't believe I've never watched these videos before; they're hilarious! I went through and watched all of the videos from top 13-now. My
favorite part is the Megan as a Japanese robot bit. SO FUNNY.
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 dashbrdparadise |
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Posts: 106 (04/04/09 10:26 PM) I don't get |
The best part was when Dave was giving Gokey praise, the TV behind him was running a loop of all of Gokey's smarmiest, most smug moments.
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- Big Brother - PAST SEASONS
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- Lost
- Other Shows That Suck
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