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"Trapped in isolation pods, 9 humans are locked away from all contact with the outside world - except a computer named VAL. The contestants are competing not against each other, but themselves. Each episode, there's a Test, which offers immunity from the Treatment. The only way to leave Solitary is by pushing the red button. The first to push the red button in every treatment will leave Solitary...forever* (except Episode 2 Season 2)".

(...but black people <3 on principle)

On that note...

28th - #1 2.0. - Stephen (CLD: 28th; ADC: 26th)


The cunning plan that CLD and I devised to split the write-ups was that whichever one of us ranked that player the highest would end up discussing them, so we could be fairly complimentary. Unfortunately, this means I have to talk about this guy, who only lasted one episode and did absolutely nothing of interesting.

Cast solely for being a Katrina survivor, he bragged a bit about how he was going to get the money, couldn't stand on a bed of nails, worried about his friends "clowning" him, then left.

Despite being the Episode 1 boot, since another player had quit, he was offered the chance to return - and for some unknown reason refused it, saving the non-elimination round for a much more colourful player.



Inadvertent racism lulz.

3.0. is by far the weakest season - largely because the first and final thirds of the season were completely dominated by a boring young guy who we never got to learn much about (and if we did, we probably would have found out they were just really boring).

The first of these tedious challenge-hogs was Ceon, who had no interesting characteristics except for working in a retirement home - and predictably when he won a challenge to handicap another player, he chose #9 to receive it because he said he "hated old people" (#9's response to the extra punishment: "Boring. Like old people"). This kind of predictable reaction summed up his general dullness - even when he got screentime, he spouted clichés and, like Stephen, seemed like he was cast for his gimmick ("growing up without electricity") not for any entertainment value.

Also like Stephen, he had some swagger, but this time he actually had the skillz: he was the only man left standing in the very male-unfriendly opening treatment, won the following immunity challenge, then the next reward challenge, then came second (?) in the immunity challenge after that.

So why did he get beaten by the tiny Asian chick in a taste challenge? Because he completely underestimated the other competitors. With a more interesting protagonist, this could have been an epic confrontation, but as he was a total cipher, it was a pretty dul showdown. As soon as Ceon left, 3.0. started to get good - if he wasn't an early boot, I'd have ranked him lower, but for being the biggest shock-boot ever (or he would have been if Fox Reality's promos didn't reveal pretty much the entire boot order), he shouldn't be last.

Up next...


(ok, not really, but its CLD's turn and it's thankfully not the only remaining black guy, yay)