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I was hoping everyone would forget about that :/ But I have this list finished, I just need to get screencaps and do the write-ups (which I would start posting now, but my laptop has been failing to start up all day long now). Jaime and the Beast ended when this season sucked too much to bother satirising (i.e. Leg 5's stupid underwear run) but may continue in some form during the wait for TAR15.

ALMOST everything listed so far is on the list, though no-one has guessed any of the Top 10.

If anyone can predict any of the incredibly minor and forgettable mistakes in 115-106, I will be awed.

Obviously this is all my humble opinion and even then I'm sure I've lazily ranked a few of them the wrong way, but I've never seen a list like this for TAR, so I will attempt it, regardless of credibility.

Feel free to debate which of these shouldn't be included or which should be much higher up.

#115 - David/Jeff Fail To Understand Fish Dimensions (TAR4, Ep 8)


What better way to start an epic list than with an inconsequential moment from a forgettable episode featuring one of the blandest teams ever?

Accompanied by strangely Greek-sounding "comedy" music, David/Jeff (Dandrew 1.0.) attempt the 'Net' Detour which involves netting 15 fish and trapping them in a pen. They stupidly fish from an unmarked pen with absolutely no fish it and assume that the pin-sized plankton is what they're supposed to catch (despite the fact they could probably pick up 15 just by grabbing them with their bare hands).

Since there's not much interesting that can be said about anything involving David/Jeff, I'll leave it at that.

#114 - Don Delegates (TAR6 Ep2-4)


This subplot starts in my favourite underrated episode ever, TAR6 Episode 2.

Despite arranging pre-show that MJ would do all the bungee-esque height tasks, despite getting a Roadblock at the Holmenkollen Ski Jump, Don hastily ran off to do it, incurring enormous wrath from his partner.

Normally there's only one chance to completely fuck up task-delegation in a single leg - however, this leg contained a Viking Games Detour which required one team-member to throw an axe onto a target and other to hit a bullseye with an arrow. Don made MJ take the arrow...despite the fact she'd told him repeatedly that she took a semester of archery and could never even hit a haybale.

This streak of erratic decision-making continued in Leg 4, where they decided MJ would do the exhausting strength-based salt-hauling RB. Though instead of cute bickering, this inspired a heartwarming t.earful confessional; in every case, it made good TV but also gave them the enormous killer fatigue that led to their unfortunate early boot.

The only reason this isn't about 40 places higher is that both of them were pretty weak and their skillset wasn't that much different - and when they were truly down to the wire in Leg 3 they finally made the smart choice of making Don search through the haybales.

#113 - Don/MJ Don't Stack (TAR6, Ep 4)

Basically a follow-up to the above, and the first of the "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!" Detour choices, this was a choie between two Senegalese fishing activities:

a) Stack 'Em Up, simply organise dried fish across a table in a task that requires no physical skill
b) Pull 'Em Up, waste time heading out into an incredibly choppy ocean and rely on Mother Nature to deliver four fish, despite having to use a limited amount of bait and an incredibly tiny fishing line

What made this decision particularly painful is that, for once they were actually at the front of the pack, having arrived at the cluebox in third, and with enough of a cushion that they could have probably made it through the leg safely if not for this dreadful mistake.

Like before, this led to great TV, when Don's vomit started attracting fish, but didn't do much for their longevity against an incredibly strong field of racers. Ultimately, this was an NEL (and since it was in such a poor country, all the racers, including Jonathan, gave them enough money to continue, so it basically had no consequence) and there was at least a slim chance that the task wouldn't be so lopsided, but the first rule of TAR common-sense is to keep as much of the game in your own control as possible - relying on animals is never a wise move, as Ari/Staella's lonely donkey proves.

#112 - Christie Thinks She Owns The Airport (TAR5, Ep 7)


One of the few moments on the list that's primarily a bad strategic decision, this is the first moment on the list I'd expect everyone to remember, what with it being the second-greatest "BITCH!"-calling of the season.

Why is Christie's bitch move on the list? First off, it obviously flawed:

a) The odds of this being a fight for the last possible flight out
a) Not to be unPC, but of all the racers in history to try to block, Charla's probably the hardest
b) There's another guy trying to get out at the airport at the exact time she's standing there.

But ultimately, it did let Colin catch up and allow them into the queue first. However, Charla/Mirna ended up finding the fastest flight out anyway and if it wasn't for the most tragic delayed flight in TAR history, the season would have gone very differently.

The main reason I'd consider it a dumb move is that Colin has spoken about how his game was about being "nice" to the other teams in order to avoid being Yielded; doing a Guido GateGate style manouevre for a few seconds head-start went completely against that. Starting an argument where, for once, Mirna was totally in the right, ended up hurting the nice-guy image, which went straight in the toilet in the following episodes, making it incredibly for everyone to gang up against them when the time was right.

It's possible that they would have been Yielded anyway for being such an enormously strong team, but this kind of aggressive behaviour made it a lot easier to justify (especially from someone like Chip who was highly concerned with being the good guy).

Sidebar: The only other similarly unnecessary airport skirmish was Tyler/James buying tickets for the BQs, despite Bama being ahead of them, which was completely pointless since they all got on the same flight anyway There's a lot of TAR10 stupidity high up this list, so I'll avoid the details, but suffice to say that the Back Pack had already solidified and refused to even talk to the other teams (according to Rob/Kim in the Insiders), so they weren't at risk of damaging any potentially useful relationships.

#111 - Flo/Zach Waste Time Selling Fruit (TAR3, Ep 11)


"2,000.... WE NEED 40,000!??!!?!?!??" One of my favourite Flo screeches <3

This is more of a case of a team failing to notice the obvious strategic loophole in one of the tasks. If you're told to sell fruit, which conventionally sells at a certain price, but are given an unlimited supply of the fruit, the logical thing to do is to sell it cheaper and in bulk. Ken/Gerard noticed this immediately and smartly sold the giant baskets for 10,000 each, while Flo/Zach bled huge amounts of time having to sell them individually.

As they'd had a snail-selling Roadblock that forced them to sell items at a set price, this might not have been enough to count as a mistake - but what made this worse is that because of the random increments of money that changed hands, they failed to count up how much they'd accumulated, forcing them to first waste time checking in before they'd earned enough money, then earning too much money and bleeding more time.

#110 - Peach Doesn't Haggle (TAR2, Ep 4)


In one of the best Mary vs. Peach odd couple scenes of the season, the older wiser Mary informs Peach on the art of haggling, making sure she will immediately counter any offer that's made to her at the "buy five wooden animal figure" Roadblock in Namibia. Peach responds "Yes, Mary! I can do this!" as if being treated like a child...then goes to immediately blow all her money by failing to haggle at all.

Considering this was a team whose dynamic frequently involved arguments over spending money, from not wanting to sleep on the beach in Leg 1, to trying to buy clothes in Leg 6, wasting money was obviously a big deal. And considering they were vendors employed by the show's staff, it's not like they'd ever actually refuse and make the Roadblock uncompletable.

The only way this could have been a smart move is if Peach was a super-smart-genius like Blake and gave her wooden rhino at the airline counter in order to gain favour <3

#109 - Lyn/Karlyn Invent The Hydroform Tavern (TAR10, Ep 4)


In the sort of creative Route Marker that's been lacking in recent seasons, the teams were forced to listen to and transcribe a clue featuring confusing Vietnamese destination names (if only this was a TAR14 Roadblock for Luke )

The clue informed them to "Take a Taxi across the Red River to Ben Xe Gia Lam." Lyn/Karlyn, in an extreme rush to leave, told their taxi-driver: "Ben Say Sha La", you know, Red River?" In fact, their piss-poor job of paying attention meant they hadn't even been able to correctly listen to the English part of the clue, mangling "hydrofoil harbour" into the bizarre "hydroform tavern". If such an unusual building existed, much hilarity would have ensued, but instead we were treated to lots more shots of Karlyn looking miserable in a dark taxi (which made up about 20% of TAR10).

If not for luckily stumbling upon a helpful local (and the fact everyone got bunched at the station anyway), they could have been lost in the middle of the Vietnam with no clue where to go, which is pretty much the definition of godawful racing.

#108 - Dustin/Kandice Stall Out Of Fear Of Mirna (TAR11, Ep 8)


The BQs are normally characterised as aggressive, focused and feisty competitors - but this overlooks their moments of snottiness and stupidity, of which this is a minor example.

Poland, Leg 8, aka one of the most horribly designed legs ever, Dustin/Kandice, along with Uchenna/Joyce and the Chas all left on the first bus to Auschwitz. Once they arrived, there was an intersection, leaving the BQs stuck waiting for four hours while the other teams could safely go for the Fast Forward, since there was no possible way anyone else could go for it and even if they claimed it, they'd be allowed to go for it again in future legs when not joined to another team.

Four hours later, another taxi pulls up, containing Charla/Mirna. Without knowing when the other teams would arrive, the BQs had two options:

a) Leave immediately with the team who're good enough to get first in two of the past three legs, and you could be easily beaten in a foot-race if things went south
b) Stay hiding in phone-booth bitching for a few minutes about how they'd rather work with the Guidos

Thankfully, they eventually got over themselves and decided to pair with them, despite the personality clash, and came in with another strong finis - otherwise this would be nearly 100 places higher.

#107 - Gretchen Rides An Elephant (TAR7, Ep 9)

There is little to say except:

Despite being unsurprisingly at the back of the pack in the second half of the India uberleg, and with every other team except Uchenna/Joyce having correctly started the Trunk Detour, Gretchen randomly assumed that because there was a howdah/basket on top, she was required to get inside, thus making the object heavier and resulting in one less person to actually try and complete the task.

What made this particularly stupid is that having Gretchen up top made the elephant hard to steer and contributed to it running over, and breaking, Meredith's foot.

In most seasons, having a broken foot would be handicap but because of the absurdly luck-based outcome of TAR7, no matter how many injuries RoboGretchen incurred or gave out, they managed to sneak their way through another few legs.

#106 - Tian/Jaree Ride An Elephant (TAR4, Ep 7)


It's easy to simplify the story of TAR4's seventh episode as "the only remaining girl team is forced to a task no woman has ever done before, unsurprisingly getting them eliminated (and ruining the season)" - but if they'd chosen Baskets (bike baskets full of chickens) instead of Trunks (sit on an elephant to transport fabric), they would have saved enough time to stay in the game, eliminating the incredibly lost Reichen/Chip.

The only reason this is so is that that they'd already admitted on-camera that they'd essentially given up and since Jaree had always wanted to ride an elephant, they wanted to go out in style. If I was on TAR4, I'd probably rather go to sequester with the decent teams too, instead of having to run around South Korea with Reichen/Chip. Maybe if they'd known they still had a shot, they'd have tried harder - maybe they were wrong to quit, but they kinda did, so I can't rank as highly as the teams who were making more of an effort to stay in the race.


VAGUE HINTS FOR THE NEXT BATCH

Tian/Jaree <3. Wasn't their elimination the leg where they also had that getting dragged in the mud RB that Tian had to do while the guys just did it for everyone else?

Yes, that was the RIGGED bull-run that Tian became the first woman ever to complete.