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245. Lisa Keiffer (Survivor: Vanuatu - 12th Place)

And right after Mia, we have Lisa in the countdown. As I mentioned in the write-ups, I don't like when older moms try to act like they're young girls, and it always seemed odd to me that Lisa was in with the bow-heads in the first place instead of being in with the older women. But with her creepy-ass fake boobs, I guess she really wanted to be younger than she really was. When I was going over this ranking, it boggled my mind how high I had ranked her, so I bumped her down, but this still feels justified because even if she was mainly memorable for getting booted over something as stupid as suggesting that Ami might be voted out, she still brought good things to the season. It was because of Lisa that Mia, the worst of the remaining bowheads, was eliminated, and she is essentially the reason we had one of the best alliance ever in the Yasur women. But yeah, she's generally boring, so she ranks lower on my list.


244. Michelle Tesauro (Survivor: Pearl Islands - 14th Place)

I know that Michelle was cast to fill the sweetheart role that had been in effect every seasons since Colleen in Borneo, but she failed overall. She wound up aligning with a pair of complete douchebags, one of whom turned on her and forced her to turn on him. Really, the association with Burton and Shawn is enough to rank her low, but she wasn't as horrible of a person as the two of them, so it's hard to rank her in absolute hated territory. Still, she absolutely could've saved herself, 100%, but she couldn't even pretend to be bad at swallowing nasty stuff like she said she would, and instead downed a gross smoothie like it was an ice cold Coca Cola. Personally, I find that lessens her sweetheart potential that she prides herself on being so good at swallowing creamy and salty, disgusting fluids. Lord knows what went on with her and Burton on the Outcasts tribe.


243. Brianna Varela (Survivor: Guatemala - 16th Place)

I said Cindy was the only real dud of Guatemala, and I stand by that, because aside from her, the only players who were ignored were ignored during the first four episodes and were all eliminated after that point, so as a result, the boring girls and Jim didn't stick around long enough to become true duds. Of the three though, Brianna was the worst, because I feel like the other two were legitimately robbed of making it further in the game, while Brianna pretty much lost because of things that were her own damn fault. If I recall, she was aligned with Morgan, yet booted her unanimously for seemingly no reason other than Brian and Jamie somehow managing to turn the target off of Lydia. Then, she completely failed to do anything at all during the immunity challenge, while Lydia, arguably the worst challenge competitor of all time, tried her stumpy little legs off to try and get Yaxha a win. Lydia tried, Steph was desperate, and Amy injured herself, yet kept competing. Meanwhile, Brianna just stood around doing absolutely nothing. Definitely a deserved, boring boot.


242. Ken Stafford (Survivor: Thailand - 8th Place)

There's not a whole lot of players I would consider to be COMPLETE disappointments based on what's known about them prior to the show, but Ken is definitely one of them. While I found a lot of Thailand's cast to be boring or forgettable, Ken is definitely one of the biggest offenders in terms of being uninteresting. And this is from a New York City cop coming off the heels of the attacks on September 11th. Despite that, he wound up being poor in challenges compared to the bulkier, stronger tribe, and he even lost the immunity challenge that he desperately needed to stay alive to scrawny, little Clay. Overall, the only thing he did that was really memorable was calling Brian out for making racist comments that might've swayed Ted's jury vote over to Clay, but Ken refused to actually mention any of those comments, instead leaving us all hanging and feeling self-righteous about knowing the truth about Brian that, if he had shared it, could've actually given us a decent winner. So yeah, that sucks.


241. Brad Virata (Survivor: Cook Islands - 12th Place)

Brad is one of the invisible, pre-merge jury trifecta, and he actually makes it higher than Jenny and Rebecca, which isn't saying much, given how boring those two really were. He started off on the Puka Tribe where he was close with Yul because he thought Yul was cute, plus he, Yul and Becky were all Korean so they could bond over that. He also provided a vehicle for Cao Boi's awesome introduction as a crazy person, where he plucked the "bad wind" from Brad's forehead after Brad whined about having a headache, which resulted in Cao Boi plucking on his forehead and leaving a red mark that made him like more like he was from India than from Korea. Brad wound up seperated from his lover, Yul, and he has been lumped in with the girls on Raro, due to his sexual orientation. Plus, he made an extremely stupid decision to A. not swim during the swimming portion of a swimming/puzzle challenge, which resulted in Rebecca's swimming failure and his tribe's loss, plus he then didn't jump ship to Aitu at the mutiny to be with the only two people who gave a shit about him as an ally. In the end, he wound up being a juror in a bloated jury and he voted for Yul because of their limited interaction, as opposed to his zero interaction with Ozzy. So yeah, lame.