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This thread popped up while I was posting on the subject in the comments thread. This now seems to be the more appropriate thread, so I'll c&p my post here:

I think this is one of the many things that are often perceived differently by men and women. Many women find terms like "sweetheart," "little lady/girl," "missy," "honey," etc. demeaning when they come from men with whom they do not have a close relationship. Though not profane, such terms can be seen as a passive-aggressive attempt to assert superior status/dominance over a woman, i.e., a less blatantly offensive way of putting an uppity woman in her place. Now you might not agree with me, but I strongly suggest you don't use these kinds of terms with any woman who is your boss, teacher, boss' wife, landlord, the bank manager who you're trying to get a loan from, the district attorney prosectuting a case against you, your church minister, senator, governor, U.S. Secretary of State, doctor, client, Chenbot, etc.

eta: by request, a few more women men should not call "sweetheart."