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Coming in at #10 is...






















































#10: Jan

-Debb's Revenge: Survivor Hags

-6^th place

And finally, Jan is out. But she probably made it a lot farther than you all thought she would.

I really hated letting Unruly Discharge/Ultra Debbalicious/ Ultra Discharge/Debb Eaton down through the course of his first game. I think he had high hopes for me as a player, as did I. I wanting to be an OTTM lunatic, because that was kind of the theme he was going for. I wanted to be sweet, lovable Jan but also with some absolutely crazy moments. This was my second mistake in playing two games at once. Though this time, I ended up winning the other game (Lost Heroes).

After a few days of battling to play both games equally, I decided to lay low in Hags and really experiment with how far I could go with doing pretty much nothing. I don't mean to be rude to UD, but I wasn't playing to win. That went out the window after about a week of "Where is Jan all the time?" She was a pretty lousy character, but what gets Jan this high is her totally random outbursts that provided for much confusion and fun the few times she had them.

I think it was the second or third challenge of the game, after a few days of me being inactive. I had an alliance with Helen, but that was about it. I think I ended up staying as long as I did just because there were bigger targets than me. Anyways, at the second IC (individual), I came out of NOWHERE and dominated. The challenge was to fill in the missing name of Australia survivors. If UD said "Brown", you'd answer "Nick Brown". If he said "Rodger" you'd answer "Bingham". I think one person managed to beat me in one round, but after that, I was just unstoppable. I was the fastest poster every time, and people were confused as hell. I was practically invisible, and seemingly a non-threat, and I think I was actually the boot that night had I not won, so me coming in and dominating the challenge sent everyone into a clusterfuck. It was amazing!

A second instance occurred later in the game, where there were it was supposed to be a unanimous vote, but it ended up as a tie. People were pissed, and I started a call-out thread to the person I had voted for (thinking it would be unanimous) and apologized and said that I was really sorry. Here's what I wrote:

I was the other person that voted for Sylvia. I don't want other people blamed because of something I did.

I was being told too many things. First it was Sylvia, then it was Twila, and then the votes went back to Sylvia. I just went with the last I heard, and that was Sylvia.

Everything about this game has my head hurting. Everything goes so fast I can't catch a moment to sit down. Please forgive me. I've had a long day and I am just a mess. I think I need some sleep.

Sorry to bother everyone but I had to get that off my chest.

I can't believe how dirty this game is. I feel so dumb for not having a clue about what has been going on.

Is anyone honest anymore?

And

It has been a long day and this night has just made everything worse.

I think I need to take a break from all of it. I will see everyone tomorrow after I get a good night's rest.

Meanwhile, everyone continued to rip each other's heads off for screwing up the vote…IN THIS THREAD! I just got the hell out of there and left them to kill each other, without receiving a scratch myself. Oh, Jan.

And finally, after my pure and innocent shtick, I left some shockingly bitter final words.

I'M GLAD I'M VOTED OUT SO I CAN HANG WITH DENISE IN THE JURY HOUSE BECAUSE SHE IS A HELL OF A LOT MORE INTERESTING THAN ANY OF YOU HAGS COULD EVER PRETEND TO BE! YOU RUINED HAPPY-GO-LUCKY GRANNY JAN! PREPARE TO SEE JAN THE BITCH IN FULL FORCE COME THE CLUSTERFUCK YOU ALL CALL THE FINALE.

THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON I WON'T COMPLETELY RIP A NEW ASSHOLE IS PATRICIA. THANK GOD THERE WAS AT LEAST ONE BITCH WHO WASN'T ENTIRELY CRUDE AND AGONIZINGLY DREADFUL TO TALK TO. FUCK ALL YOU WORTHLESS HAGS AND HAVE A SHITTY CHRISTMAS! I'LL BE SNEAKING INTO ALL OF YOUR HOUSES ON CHRISTMAS EVE WITH DENISE AND WE'LL BE TAKING A MASSIVE SHIT ALL OVER YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE. WHO WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH? WE WILL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

GO SUCK A DICK! PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO SHOOT MYSELF IN ORDER TO RELIEVE MYSELF OF THE MISERY AND HORROR I SAW IN THIS GAME. BEFORE I FINALLY RUN AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE, I'D LIKE TO GIVE SOME FINAL PARTING WORDS TO YOU ALL:

LINDA: I WISH I COULD SUCK YOUR BLOOD, BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN YOU'D BE DEAD.

PATRICIA <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

SYLVIA: TRY SOCIALIZING YOU NONORTHAGONAL WHORE!

ZOE: YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE! HAGS HAVE VAGINAS, NOT DICKS! GO HOME YOU FUGLY MAN!

HELEN: OMG YOU SO POOR AND LONELY, AND I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND. EAT SHIT YOU LYING, BACKSTABBING BITCH. AND TO ALL THE OTHER FUCKING BITCHES OUT THERE, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU LET HELEN INTO THE FINAL TWO, I WILL FUCKING FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE AND KILL YOU ALL. SHE IS THE FAKEST BITCH I'VE EVER KNOWN AND IF I HAVE TO SPEAK TO HER AGAIN, SO HELP ME GOD I WILL FUCKING KILL HER, THEN KILL MYSELF.

WANNA KNOW WHY I DIDN'T TALK MUCH? BECAUSE IT FUCKING DROVE ME NUTS TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU PEOPLE. CUT THE SHIT AND JUST BE REAL PEOPLE FOR ONCE! GOD DAMN I'M HUNGRY. JURY, COOK ME UP SOME BAT STEW. I DUG UP THE BAT I ONCE BURIED BECAUSE I'M STARVING!

HOPE YOU DIE IN YOUR SLEEP...IN FACT, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU DIE IN YOUR SLEEP.
:chain2

It was such an unexpected set of final words. It may have made sense coming from anyone else, but not Jan. I seriously confused the hell out of people with these! If I ever ranked final words those would be near the top of my list, but sadly, I don't think I had enough great final words to do such a ranking. And then there was my jury "speech:

That was all I had planned for FTC. Oh, and an interesting fact is that I was voted out of this game the VERY NEXT night after I won Lost Heroes. The only thing more hilarious than that is being voted out and winning on the same night, so please let me know if anyone has done that!

The three things I highlighted on in this post were pretty much the only things Jan did. I didn't do as much as I would've liked, but Jan did provide for some really good laughs during these three instances. However, the Top 9 on this list all have definable moments and/or attributes, while Brian, Amanda, and Ashley weren't all that special. Sure, they were nice, but they were also rather boring. In the end, the randomness and hilarity of Jan just narrowly beats these three. I had a VERY tough time deciding between Jan and Ashley. Although Jan was even more UTR than Ashley, she certainly added a little more spice to the game than Ashley did, so I believe. Congrats to Jan for making Top Ten, but I think that everyone in the Top 9 is rightfully there. Don't be confused by how great those moments were. Jan pretty much sucked in ALL areas of the game and most of all that didn't come until after she was voted out. And everyone else on the list is just better and did a lot more in their respective games. While Jan had like three wild and crazy moments, I think the 9 people left were all consistently strong characters.