Novaya Ranks the Top 30 Video Game GODDESSES of ALL TIME!!! in Clubs that Suck. No, Really. Forum

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Novaya Ranks the Top 30 Video Game GODDESSES of ALL TIME!!!

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novaya

Novaya Ranks the Top 30 Video Game GODDESSES of ALL TIME!!!

Lead

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Posts: 859

(09/13/09 08:45 PM)

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my ads the most. Right!
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You heard it right. Female homegirl protagonists ACROSS THE AGES! You're probably like "Novaya who?" but w/e.

Anyway, I'm ranking my top 30 fave videogame femme fatales from my favorite series evar. Some game series (ew, resident evil fail) will be neglected. But there are sure to be gems. Hat-tip to PuPa for getting my geek on and making me construct this amazing list.

Spoiler [+]

30	Mavis Peepers - Return to Zork
29	Impa - Legend of Zelda (series)
28	Laverne - Day of the Tentacle
27	Jessie - Pokemon (series)
26	Catherine - Civilization IV
25	Queen Camellia - Secret of Evermore
24	Cynthia Velasquez - Silent Hill IV
23	X
22	X
21	X
20	X
19	X
18	X
17	X
16	X
15	X
14	X
13	X
12	X
11	X
10	X
9	X
8	X
7	X
6	X
5	X
4	X
3	X
2	X
1	X

<3

Last Edited By: novaya 09/14/09 10:40 AM. Edited 6 times.

novaya

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Posts: 860

(09/13/09 08:56 PM)

~ 30. MAVIS PEEPERS ~
Return to Zork

Suuuuuch an HBIC. Mavis Peepers commands respect in all things she does. She runs the school house, but there are never any children running around in this game, except the disgusting waif (see video below) who is basically a hermaphrodite. But Mrs. Peepers cares about him/her. What a giver. <3

The best thing about Mavis Peepers is your ass gets killed by her for failing a test. Her powers are truly any educater's dream. "ah! ah! ah!" and then "MWAAHAHAHAHHAA DEATH!" She needs to have a job teaching in Compton. LEGENDARY! But once you pass the test and get the shit you need from this hot babe of the year (<3) then her role is all over. But I will NEVAR forget that touching "ah! ah! ah!" when you failed her test. Old games and their copyright protection methods eternal <3333333

Enjoy the video below of Mavis Peepers' LEGENDARY performance. Plz excuse the famewhore who has to talk over this IRL actress's amazing performace. Nerdy famewhores <<<<< Divinity in the form of Mavis Peepers.

GnarlsInCharge

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Posts: 4041

(09/13/09 08:57 PM)

Registered user

FTW

novaya

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Posts: 861

(09/13/09 08:59 PM)

Ms. PacMan is a total cross-dressing tranny, as proven in Drawn Together. "She's" been disqualified.

KellysMomCalledMeFine

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Posts: 2850

(09/13/09 09:00 PM)

Registered User

RYDIA MUST BE NUMBER 1.

J/K, had to continue the crazy for a minute :)

But really, Lara Croft better not make this list.

novaya

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Posts: 862

(09/13/09 09:17 PM)

FastTracking this mess... for NAO!

~ 29. Impa ~
Legend of Zelda Series

I love Impa. She emerged from the shadows as the "wise old woman" and became such a Lesbionic automatron. MAJOR <3333. It's truly an amazing transformation, and encapsulates (vocab word!) what the fuck is wrong wrong wrong with the whole Legend of Zelda line. Since there is no continuity, and like, five characters, it was all "Let's bring bag that old haggress Impa! But instead we'll make her a total bulldyke!" Inspirational. No wonder Nintendo is SO AMAZING. <3

Impa fails on so many levels though. She's such a poseur as far as HBIC's go, and allowed Zelda to get fucked, as well as allow the world to become a complete shithole. Impa fails on such epic levels, but her inclusion into this world of fuckery is so right you cannot escape it. I'll never forget playing The Ocarina of Time and being all "SRSLY? THIS DUMB BITCH HAS A MEDALLION?!" But all of this contributes to Impa's epic transformation. We can't expect a true g.oddess to become a dominating sensation overnight. Impa will have her time soon. <3

CatLurvesDorothy

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Posts: 6006

(09/13/09 09:18 PM)

OMEDETO, CATHY!!

Mint ftw!

novaya

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Posts: 863

(09/13/09 09:21 PM)

CatLurvesDorothy wrote:
Mint ftw!

O SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT MINT. I must REVISE my list! ty for this epiphany <3

CatLurvesDorothy

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Posts: 6007

(09/13/09 09:22 PM)

OMEDETO, CATHY!!

novaya wrote:

CatLurvesDorothy wrote:
Mint ftw!

O SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT MINT. I must REVISE my list! ty for this epiphany <3

You also got my epic palin so gj! <3

Will

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Posts: 35234

(09/13/09 09:30 PM)

Amazing Race Moderator

STORM FTW!

Cuauhtemoc Gilmore

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Posts: 20514

(09/13/09 09:31 PM)

OMEDETO, CATHY!!

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my ads the most. Right!
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NANAMI FTW

Destinys Champion

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Posts: 4450

(09/13/09 09:32 PM)

Registered User

IMPA! <3 She's like the strong black woman of the Zelda series. She needs to be playable one day.

novaya

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Posts: 864

(09/13/09 09:32 PM)

~ 28. Laverne ~
Day of the Tentacle

Day of the Tentacle ETERNAL APPRECIATION! Any true nerd (a.k.a. awesome person) knows this game, understands it, and <3's it. Day of the Tentacle is practically one of the finest games ever made. If you doubt this, then you should doubt your own horrendous existence. kthx. <3

Laverne flushed herself (that's right) into the freakin' FUTURE and sent shit from the future back to the past. She fucked shit up, and was an amazing, elegant, timeless g.oddess. While the tentacles ruled the Earth, Laverne was a diamond in the rough, challenging their cruel authority and sending shit back into the past (via toilet <33333) to correct the buttfuckery that happened in the future she was in. LaverneGoddess. I remember her fondly for DOS-txt tho, and the voice in the subsequent video ruins SO MUCH of her mystique. </3. REGARDLESS, Laverne is a true treasure, and y'all betta RESPECT.

CatLurvesDorothy

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Posts: 6009

(09/13/09 09:33 PM)

OMEDETO, CATHY!!

YOU ALREADY WIN SO MUCH

novaya

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Posts: 865

(09/13/09 09:42 PM)

CatLurvesDorothy wrote:
YOU ALREADY WIN SO MUCH

ty. I appreciate this welcoming attitude. Laverne 4ever. <3

yope3041

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Posts: 3203

(09/13/09 09:57 PM)

CatLurvesDorothy wrote:
YOU ALREADY WIN SO MUCH

I have NO IDEA who Mint is, and yet you constantly pimp her all the time. GJ.

Also, this thread is lovely.

Will

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Posts: 35236

(09/13/09 10:05 PM)

Amazing Race Moderator

spnintendo

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Posts: 7363

(09/13/09 10:05 PM)

Registered User

Omg Impaownage!

Everytime she would appear in OoT me and whoever I was with would lmao. Hawt tranny mess <3

novaya

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Posts: 866

(09/13/09 10:06 PM)

~ 27. JESSIE ~
Pokemon (Series)

Haters gon' hate. Bring it. <3

Truth is, Jessie is amazing. She ranks higher because of her cartoon appearances, but that was necessary to flesh out her character. Otherwise she was a faceless borewhore, but in truth, Jessie's LEGENDARY status is so much more than that.

The hair. The outfit. The fierceness. The Lickitung. I couldn't rank her lower, but I couldn't rank her higher since she was such a non-entity in the games. Either way, Jessie <3. Her legend lives on, and this is why she is 27. RESPECT!

Last Edited By: novaya 09/13/09 10:10 PM. Edited 1 times.

Will

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Posts: 35237

(09/13/09 10:13 PM)

Amazing Race Moderator