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241.



America's Next Top Model 12


I love the antm franchise as much as the next gay, but to me it just progressively has gotten worse every season. So much so I haven't even seen any of this current season (omh blasphemy). Season 12 was the final straw for me....it was just abysmal and boring. Now to be fair, I do mainly watch the show to root for the girl/s who I find hottest. Unfortunately for me however this season was dominated by ugly people. That being said, the one who I was most attracted to, came in second place....so I should give it points for that....but unfortunately she was invisible for more than half the season.





Zombie goddesses <33333333. So bizarre, so hot. I had such high hopes for Allison, especially after the casting episode with the HILARIOUS nosebleed conversation (Jealousssss). But she never really was amazing as I thought she could be. I thought she would be an outcast who didn't fit in with anyone cause of her counter-culture lifestyle, but she was right at home with all the girls. Plus her blonde hair made her a lot less attractive imo. But nonetheless she was still by far the best thing on the season, and she started to come into her own at the end with telling Tyra (Youre Pretty) and putting super before every other word. She was completely robbed out of the win by some random black who was boring and ugly.









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Tahlia vs Celia

Lets establish 2 things first off. Tahlia was a burn victim....and Celia was a bitch. Anyhoo, it came to a head when Tahlia had expressed in the house that she might not want to be there....which i'm sure every contestant says at some time or another....but Celia was OFFENDED that anyone doubt being there cause there are "millions of people who would die in fires for this oppurtunity!" so she made it her mission to let it come to light. When Tahlia survived the elimination, Celia ran up to inform Tyra of the behind scenes shananigans. Leading to one of the most uncomfy moments of all the time.











A lot of people find my love for London rather random....I however do not. I have been clammering for a street preacher on reality tv for YEARS. Let alone a hot street preacher....I didn't know such things exsisted. She didn't speak much, but when she did it was adorbs and about praising out lord Jesus Christ....so for me she was perfect. Nigel thought she was fat ....but true beauty has nothing to do with your weight....unless you are like obese then you are ugly.





Oh and she won



:shudder

239.

Last Comic Standing 3

Season 3 was extremely poorly conceived. It came literally a couple of weeks after season 2. They took a break for the summer olympics and then went right to season 3...which was a battle between the casts of season 1 and 2. This show focused 0 on the intercomic dynamics which had made the first two seasons so entertaining, and was just strictly stand up comedy. Now i'm not against stand up comedy, but having the same people do it week after week got very tired and old. Especially considering by that point all the comics were running out of material, especially the season 2 folks who had just got done doing their own season.





This season was essentially made to get Alonzo the win. Some people were IRATE about John Heffron beating him in the final 2 of the previous season (people of which I will never understand) so they made sure to bring Alonzo back...and he had little to no opposition through the entire series. He got the biggest cheers everytime he went on, and won the show in a blowout....a blowout in which nobody ever saw cause the show was cancelled right before the finale <3






The true best comedian to ever be on the show, Dave Mordal came in second place. Which in itself was very impressive, cause he was never really a huge name, not making the finale in his season. But it showed that people remembered back to season 1 when he was unjustly defeated by Dat Phan.






One of the more pathetic moments of the season, was when Ralphie May realized he wasn't doing so well and nobody cared about him being fat anymore, so he went on stage and cried about his dad dying. He then told all of his dad's "favorite" jokes and got a standing ovation for his courage. Come to find out he hadn't seen or talked to his dad in like 15 years. Gary Gulman called him out on it at the roast which lead to a very angry fat man.

238.



Nashville Star 6


My biggest problem with this season was that it ruined a very successful and entertaining franchise. Due to lack of NBC programming, they moved it from it's usual USA network, to prime time television. That in itself is not that ruined it, however the change in format did. Twas no longer real, genuine, singer/songwriter country stars which made the show great. It was manufactured Taylor Swifts, and Carrie Underwoods....pop country artsists, 90% of which had 0 talent. Combine that with an awful host and awful judging panel and it made for a terrible season.




This is Melissa Lawson, she is fat and has kids. She won....she won cause she is fat and has kids. P.S she cannot sing






The true winner was clearly Ashlee Hewitt. She was hot, she could sell records and most importantly she had real talent. But unfortunately the majority of the audience (all 100 of them) were made up of jealous hausfrau who werent about to let some hawt teenager win the crown, so she left wayyyyyyyyyy too early. But she still had the best performance of the whole season.










Gabe Garcia came in second, and as much as I liked him and pulled for him to win, he was one of the main problems with the season. Cause he should have been so much more amazing than he was. He was the only true artist of the entire bunch, but due to their X-Factor like mentor system, Gabe never got to be who he truly was. And Jewel screwed him out of his chance. Nonetheless he still had some great performances and toates deserves to beat Melissa.