I kinda half-watched season 1 due it being a ~cultural phenomenon~ and all, I probably caught about half of the episodes on and off, and I remember most of the names and big events of that season. But past that I'm pretty much zilch on this show. But then last night I was watching Saturday Night Live and Seth Myers made an unfunny weekend update joke about a few of the castmembers of Celebrity Apprentice 3, and that piqued my curiosity to the point where I went to wikipedia to find out who the rest of the cast was, which to my shock and delight includes SUMMER FUCKING SANDERS.
fap fap fap
ANYWAY, long story (basically, hatebrigade demanded that I stop talking about the Apprentice, and this is like 20 seconds after I first brought it up, so I devised the best way to piss her off by talking about the Apprentice for another 3+ hours), but this leads to me deciding to watch every season of the Apprentice, starting with 2 because I was told by certain CTS posters that it owns and I was pretty well versed in season 1 anyway. I saw episodes 1 and 2 last night, this is my journey. Wait, what is this? I don't know. It's not a ranking....yet. Let's call it the "UKK is finally watching the Apprentice love club." Yes, that will do.
"My name is Donald Trump. I'm the largest developer in New York City. I've built a lot of buildings, but I also own golf courses, resorts, Miss Universe and Miss USA pageants, a modeling agency...................and I also own a television show."
alol
This is likely the most terrifying intro shot of all time
I'm told she's a huge bitch, but she was INV in the premiere so like? Also INV, the douche who I'm told wins the season. But I don't see how that can be, because HE WAS INV IN THE PREMIERE AND WE ALL KNOW THAT INVs MEAN YOU CAN'T WIN EXCEPT FOR THE TIMES WHEN THEY DO >_<
First confesh goes to this stunning creature and future Mrs. Kids Know, Jennifer Massey :swoon
can't stop fapping
Then this "different" guy named "Raj" comes in wearing red pants. I guess he's louie77's, like, favorite contestant of all time? I'm not surprised, because he shuffles back and forth between annoying and insufferable. Continually shouting douche Andy declares him to be "P-I-M-P," reminding me in an instant why I hated 2004 at the time. And Andy, even though I was never aware of his existence before that moment. The hate, though, I feel, was always there.
LET'S TOAST TO THE MEN DOMINATING THE WOMYN!
Wesgod is an amazing human. Not so impressed is this frigid bitch:
I'm told, she's, like, insane or something? She's pretty low-key so far.
Despite being technically INV, this Stacy troll is constantly lurking the background having hilarious OTT reactions. Here she is after they learn that the teams have to each swap a member:
On the right is Pamelagod (yes, god). She? is the only threat to Jenn as far as favos go at this point. In fact, she has already added to my top reality moments of all time. They're designing toys for little kids, see. And upon seeing the little kids, Pamela starts cackling and calling them fat and saying they have terrible haircuts <3 <3 <3. More on that later.
I also love Mariacunt. On naming her team:
"WE HAVE MOGUL, COMMODORE CORE, PLAZA, TOWER, INNOVATION, CREATE, HEART, DETERMINATION, FLEX TO THE MAX OR FLEXMAX, TIGER, EGO, STAR, EMPIRE, MONEY, LUX, POWER, TRIUMPH!, POWER, SEX, PARAMOUNT, LUXCORE, BUILDER, LUXURY, QUALITY, LTF THAT'S LARGURTHANLIFE, AND WE HAVE APEX NOW CAN WE NARROW THIS DOWN TO THREE MAYBE??????????????????????????????"
<3
Then Raj is boring some more and bitches that his team is named "Mosaic" which is pretty gay but whatever. Die Raj.
Anyway, back to the focus group!
It takes those little retards about 32 seconds to break the toy btw
Stay strong Pamela
Stacie (black Stacie) goes crazy or something? I don't know, it's edited so weird I can't even tell what's going on.
Anyhoo, Pamela and the dudez lose. Reward is dinner with Trump
Jen C first blossoms here. She is somehow both UTR and OTT at the same time. Here she is spying on Trump eating his shrimp cocktail because she doesn't know how to eat it lol.
SO SNEAKY <3
Boardroom time. The funniest moment of all time occurs when Carolyn Cuntress brings up Pamela's "offensive" comments about the fat ugly stupid children she had to put up with.
Carolyn: "Your comments were offensive to parents!"
Pamela: "THEIR PARENTS WERE THERE???!???"
Carolyn: "I'm a parent. Those kids are somebody's children!"
Pamela: "Oh lol who cares then stfu bitch He had a Dumb & Dumber haircut Mr. Trump" <3
A boring turd named Rob goes home. Yay!
PAMELA/JENNIFER M 4 F2 PL0X
fap fap fap
ANYWAY, long story (basically, hatebrigade demanded that I stop talking about the Apprentice, and this is like 20 seconds after I first brought it up, so I devised the best way to piss her off by talking about the Apprentice for another 3+ hours), but this leads to me deciding to watch every season of the Apprentice, starting with 2 because I was told by certain CTS posters that it owns and I was pretty well versed in season 1 anyway. I saw episodes 1 and 2 last night, this is my journey. Wait, what is this? I don't know. It's not a ranking....yet. Let's call it the "UKK is finally watching the Apprentice love club." Yes, that will do.
"My name is Donald Trump. I'm the largest developer in New York City. I've built a lot of buildings, but I also own golf courses, resorts, Miss Universe and Miss USA pageants, a modeling agency...................and I also own a television show."
alol
This is likely the most terrifying intro shot of all time
I'm told she's a huge bitch, but she was INV in the premiere so like? Also INV, the douche who I'm told wins the season. But I don't see how that can be, because HE WAS INV IN THE PREMIERE AND WE ALL KNOW THAT INVs MEAN YOU CAN'T WIN EXCEPT FOR THE TIMES WHEN THEY DO >_<
First confesh goes to this stunning creature and future Mrs. Kids Know, Jennifer Massey :swoon
can't stop fapping
Then this "different" guy named "Raj" comes in wearing red pants. I guess he's louie77's, like, favorite contestant of all time? I'm not surprised, because he shuffles back and forth between annoying and insufferable. Continually shouting douche Andy declares him to be "P-I-M-P," reminding me in an instant why I hated 2004 at the time. And Andy, even though I was never aware of his existence before that moment. The hate, though, I feel, was always there.
LET'S TOAST TO THE MEN DOMINATING THE WOMYN!
Wesgod is an amazing human. Not so impressed is this frigid bitch:
I'm told, she's, like, insane or something? She's pretty low-key so far.
Despite being technically INV, this Stacy troll is constantly lurking the background having hilarious OTT reactions. Here she is after they learn that the teams have to each swap a member:
On the right is Pamelagod (yes, god). She? is the only threat to Jenn as far as favos go at this point. In fact, she has already added to my top reality moments of all time. They're designing toys for little kids, see. And upon seeing the little kids, Pamela starts cackling and calling them fat and saying they have terrible haircuts <3 <3 <3. More on that later.
I also love Mariacunt. On naming her team:
"WE HAVE MOGUL, COMMODORE CORE, PLAZA, TOWER, INNOVATION, CREATE, HEART, DETERMINATION, FLEX TO THE MAX OR FLEXMAX, TIGER, EGO, STAR, EMPIRE, MONEY, LUX, POWER, TRIUMPH!, POWER, SEX, PARAMOUNT, LUXCORE, BUILDER, LUXURY, QUALITY, LTF THAT'S LARGURTHANLIFE, AND WE HAVE APEX NOW CAN WE NARROW THIS DOWN TO THREE MAYBE??????????????????????????????"
<3
Then Raj is boring some more and bitches that his team is named "Mosaic" which is pretty gay but whatever. Die Raj.
Anyway, back to the focus group!
It takes those little retards about 32 seconds to break the toy btw
Stay strong PamelaStacie (black Stacie) goes crazy or something? I don't know, it's edited so weird I can't even tell what's going on.
Anyhoo, Pamela and the dudez lose. Reward is dinner with Trump
Jen C first blossoms here. She is somehow both UTR and OTT at the same time. Here she is spying on Trump eating his shrimp cocktail because she doesn't know how to eat it lol.
SO SNEAKY <3
Boardroom time. The funniest moment of all time occurs when Carolyn Cuntress brings up Pamela's "offensive" comments about the fat ugly stupid children she had to put up with.
Carolyn: "Your comments were offensive to parents!"
Pamela: "THEIR PARENTS WERE THERE???!???"
Carolyn: "I'm a parent. Those kids are somebody's children!"
Pamela: "Oh lol who cares then stfu bitch
He had a Dumb & Dumber haircut Mr. Trump" <3A boring turd named Rob goes home. Yay!
PAMELA/JENNIFER M 4 F2 PL0X
