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Pfft pfft pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft. I'm such a reality fucking loser.

I have NEVER liked Corey Feldman. Not ever. I always thought he was ugly and it irritated me that he was put in these movies as a lead against women way out of his league (Dream a Little Dream - RIGHT, THAT chick can't do better than him with his pasty pan face and non-existent lips with his icky, raspy voice).

I'm so mean. BUT- I feel better about judging him soley on things he couldn't help when I saw him on the Surreal Life- if there was ever a bigger narcisstic fucking tool on a reality show, their name is not coming to me at this moment.

Corey Haim on the other hand- I always thought was a cutie ever since Lucas even. But THEN of course, I've seen the interviews where he looks like a bloated whale version of his old cute self. And then the whole selling his fucking MOLAR on Ebay- you gross fucking prostitute.

BUT... he's kicked the drugs (is still very desperate in a My Own Private Idaho kind of way) and looks better- more like a beaten down version of Nick Lachey these days.

The opening gives you the Odd Couple theme with various shots showing CF as an anal freak w/ his shit together (married, working, blah blah) and CH as a clean up child star tragedy who is a total slob and can't get work because of the tragic days. It was kind of cute.. so I watched.

It was over the top and insulting how the producers (the 2C's) went out of their way to show CF in his Felix role and CH in his Oscar role. Fuck you fake beotches shoving this scripted shit down my throat.

And the KICKER- CF's wife Susie. O M G. You gold-digging white trash bitch trying to be all proper now that you are married to the guy that SLAM FUCKING DUNKED the role of the fucking DORK in Stand By Me. I got your number bitch.

She's now very uppity and is of course appalled by everything CH does and as if she graduated from the Opal Cortland from All My Children Training Academy for How to Become a Successful Socialite has picked her charity of choice and has spent the last four months arranging a dinner with the Director of Peta to come to dinner for the first episode which of course CH TOTALLY ruins by ordering a 10 meat pizza and trying to get the Peta Pope into the jacuzzi. This brings Susie to tears because this cause is so close to her heart. I wanted to punch her and the bitch of all of this is, is CH and Susie actually made CF (the narcissistic ugly tool w/ the grating voice) look good.

MF'ers trying to feed me this canned crock of shit giving all the respectable reality shows like Flavor of Love a bad name.