What you call woman wit wooden leg?
Ilene
What you call Chinese woman wit wooden leg?
Irene
0 Kudo
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Earl tells a joke
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 Briget |
Re: Yao Man tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 530 (04/05/07 4:55 PM) I need a life |
What you call woman wit wooden leg? Ilene What you call Chinese woman wit wooden leg? Irene |
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fsmdud |
Scout tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1965 (04/05/07 5:13 PM) Registered user |
 What do you call a wonderful rainbow-colored loving group of lovely soulful witty survivors? Well, I guess it can be described in about 17 different ways. Its really hard to explain why, but Ill attempt ot keep talking anyways, little one. Its like, so peaceful, like Im out in my Oklahoma ranch making love to cattle, suckling on a tender piece of cattle ass. MMmmm. Its so thought provoking. This reminds me of the story of a young girl I once was told I heard I knew. She was young and sprightly and a total free spirit, eating cucumber and soy sandwiches for 5 years straight. Guess what her name was? Scout Clown Leeds! So close to my name. And she was so smart and pretty and so fuckin hot! I was on Survivor like 15 years ago, at least I thought I was. I swear, if it werent for that bad knee transplant, I woulda won 11 individual immunities and won the $7 million dollar prize. Twila is such a free spirit. And I love Ozzy and Yul because they are free spirits. Other than that, did I mention, I like carrots and beets. Word. |
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s0med00d |
Re: Scout tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1352 (04/05/07 5:17 PM) Registered User |
She totally stole that from a joke book I read in third grade.
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WylDawg |
Re: Yao Man tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 21222 (04/05/07 5:22 PM) Registered user |
 My husband and I were getting back from a nice get together the other day, when all of a sudden the police pulled us over. This nice young officer walks up to my husband and says: "Sir, do you know you were driving 90 in a 70 zone?" Acting shocked, my husband replies: "Really? I'm so sorry officier I thought the limit WAS 90" "Oh honey", I say "You know you the limit was 70. You've been driving like a madman because you said you didn't wanna miss the game...." My husband turns to me and angrily whispers "Hush!" "Sir", says the officer "Do you know your left tail light is broken?" "Really?", says my husband "I had no idea officer. Thank you for telling me, I'll get that fixed first thing in the morning" "Oh honey!", I say "You know that thing has been broken for a while now, but you always said it wasn't such a big deal" "SHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Goes my husband. "And finally, sir" , says the officer "I can't help but notice you aren't wearing your safety belt" "Oh, well I unbuckled it when you pulled us over, officer" Says my husband. "Oh honey" I say, "You know you haven't buckled your safety belt for the last 25 years" So my husband extremely angry yells: "GODDAMIT, WOMAN! WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!!!" The officer, horribly shocked, asks me: "Ma'am!! Is this how your husband talks to you??" "Oh, of course not officer", I say "Only when he's been drinking a lot..." |
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OnlyMatthew |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1437 (04/07/07 11:26 AM) Registered user |
 Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they try really hard and practice. |
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glenalina |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 35 (04/07/07 11:36 AM) Registered user |
OK
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WylDawg |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 21222 (04/07/07 11:38 AM) Registered user |
I think a BobDawg joke would have more depth to it.
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OnlyMatthew |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1437 (04/07/07 12:09 PM) Registered user |
^ I knew I should've stuck with a Clay picture. Here, I'll make it up to you.
 What's the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go a night without robin'. Why are apes always frowning? Because in a million years, they might turn into black people. What's pink, barks at people and is chained to my house? My black slave, I can paint him any color I want. How do you get a million black people into a car? Throw in a welfare check. How do you get them out? Throw in a job application. What's faster than a black man carrying a TV? His brother with the VCR. How long did it take for the black woman to take a dump? Nine months. What do you call two blacks on a bike? Organized crime. |
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Donald Trumps Wig |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1205 (04/07/07 12:40 PM) Registered user |
Quote:  !
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Maniacboy888 |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 3202 (04/07/07 12:45 PM) Registered user |
What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A good start |
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Donald Trumps Wig |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1205 (04/07/07 12:56 PM) Registered user |
What do you do if your tv is floating in the middle of the night? Tell the black person to drop it. |
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Maniacboy888 |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 3202 (04/07/07 12:58 PM) Registered user |
What do you do when you see a black man screaming and rolling on the ground? Quit laughing and re-load! |
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Donald Trumps Wig |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1205 (04/07/07 1:01 PM) Registered user |
Why is basketball a black man's favorite sport? So he can steal, shoot, and run. |
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s0med00d |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1352 (04/09/07 9:21 AM) Registered User |
More, please.
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OnlyMatthew |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1437 (04/09/07 9:59 AM) Registered user |
 What you ask jap with one testicle? Wat went wong? How copper wire invented? Two chinese fight over penny. What yellow, white and flop on beach? Chinese and seagull fighting over fish. What is big, long and yellow? No one knows yet. What flattest surface to iron clothes on? Chinese girl. What difference between buff asian and bigfoot? They have picture of bigfoot. Why do jap like to have sex in front of mirror? Objects may be larger than they appear. -- Why are black people so tall? Because their knee grows. |
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LuvTheOzman |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 2195 (04/09/07 10:00 AM) Registered user |
How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head. -------------------- Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree. The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is by far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim. That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today. "Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick. Me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?" The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."  How many guys does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open when she brings it to you. ----------------- What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you. |
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ShiAnnsWedgie |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1775 (04/09/07 11:31 AM) Registered User |
 Rob, a guy on the local beach just couldn't make it with any of the girls, so he heads over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard has any advice for him. "Dude, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "you're wearing them baggy old swimming trunks that make you look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Spandex Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin you man...you'll have all the babes you want!" The following weekend, Rob hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato and for cryin' out loud! - it's worse than before! Everybody on the beach acts disgusted as he walks by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick! So Rob goes back to the lifeguard again and asks him, "What's wrong now?" "Jeezzzzz!" says the lifeguard....... "The potato goes in front!!" |
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s0med00d |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1352 (04/09/07 11:35 AM) Registered User |
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ShiAnnsWedgie |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1775 (04/09/07 11:48 AM) Registered User |
 A school principal sent a fax to his wife. Dear Wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs that you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and sincerely hope that you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. Your Husband When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows: Dear Husband, You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Since you are the scholar, you will appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't wait up. |
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ShiAnnsWedgie |
Re: Earl tells a joke | ||
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Posts: 1775 (04/09/07 11:53 AM) Registered User |
 Hey, how do you make a woman orgasm?  Who cares? |
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- Survivor Sucks
- Lions, Tigers, Survivors - Oh My!
- Survivor Spoilers
- MESS Hall Tribal Council
- MESS Hall Archive
- Survivor Speculation
- Survivor 20+
- The Amazing Race
- Big Brother
- Big Brother - PAST SEASONS
- The Apprentice
- American Idol
- American Idol PAST SEASONS
- The Mole
- Lost
- Other Shows That Suck
- Off Topic
- Clubs That Suck. No, Really.
- The Dump
- Monster Island
- Purgatory
- FAQ
- In Memory, 9/11/01
