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'GREASE' & DESIST

By MICHAEL RIEDEL

New York Post, April 4, 2007 -- THE folks involved in "Grease" have been bragging for a week now about ticket sales - $9 million and counting for a revival that doesn't open until July.

What they haven't been talking about is a little misfire that happened last Monday, the day after the final installment of "You're the One That I Want," the NBC reality show from which the stars of the revival were cast.

The phones at Ticketmaster were, I'm told, ringing off the hook because a lot of viewers who bought tickets to "Grease" weren't happy with the actors chosen to play Danny and Sandy: Max Crumm (change the name, kid) and Laura Osnes.

"There was a bit of a frenzy because a lot of people wanted Austin and Ashley to win," says a source. "They wanted their money back."

Austin Miller and Ashley Spencer were the runners-up.

The source says extra people had to be added to the phone banks to handle the calls.

A spokesman for the show denies there was a "substantial number of calls" for refunds, and that the advance continues to grow.

All this crowing about the box office strikes me as face-saving, since "You're the One That I Want" was a ratings loser. Eight million people watched last week's final installment, which is about, oh, 30 million viewers shy of the audience for "American Idol" and 20 million shy of the audience for "Dancing With the Stars."

The show did marginally better than the Tony Awards, but that's like saying Alan Keyes did marginally better in New Hampshire than Dennis Kucinich.

The "Grease" team is also acutely aware that the Broadway community despised "You're the One That I Want." The only insider I know who was able to stomach every episode was writer and performer Seth Rudetsky. And that, I hope, is only because Playbill.com paid him to write a column about it every week.

The rest of Broadway was put off by the cheesy production values, poorly staged musical numbers and cookie-cutter nobodies who auditioned to play Danny and Sandy.

Crumm (that name again!) and Osnes are notable only because they were the least attractive of the lot.

Two members of the "Grease" team who are really taking a licking are producer David Ian and writer Jim Jacobs, who, along with director Kathleen Marshall, were the TV show's judges.

Ian, a former actor (sorry I missed his Hamlet), came off as a desperate Simon Cowell wannabe whose skin was the color of Tang and whose teeth looked as if they were whitened during the commercial breaks. Theater people who know him well say he still hungers for the spotlight. At yearly producer conferences (held in sunny places where he can deepen that Tang tan), Ian "loves to give speeches," a source says. "He can't get to the stage fast enough."

Jacobs, insiders say, came off as a pompous oaf.

"He wrote one show ['Grease'] and carried on like he was Jule Styne," says one producer.

As for Marshall, she's still popular around Broadway. But, boy, her revival of "Grease" better be good.

"You're the One That I Want" has left everybody - producers, chorus kids, critics, Tony voters, ushers and columnists - so disgusted, we're going to be gunning for the production.

This summer, even Marshall may get it in the neck.