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You guys are awesome. I <3 you all.

In the annals of Survivor history—strike that, human history—one person stands above and beyond all of the others. Richard Hatch? No. Brian Heidik? No. Jenna Lewis? NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I am of course referring to Kelly Goldsmith, the spunky and delightful girl that captured our hearts in Survivor: Africa. Kelly Goldsmith took the throne of Best Survivor Ever as soon as the cast of the third season was announced—and eleven seasons later, she still sits there comfortably, never once under even the slightest threat of being moved from it. From her blonde hair to her undeservingly ridiculed ass, Kelly enchanted us with her down-to-earth good looks (dammit, she doesn’t look like a rat!) and her sarcastic and oh-so-true remarks about the game and her opponents. For a while, it looked as though Kelly was a safe bet to make the final four, as her tribe went into the merge with a 6-4 advantage, and she was pretty much the smartest one in her group. She had the game in her pocket. However, a very bad man named Lex (who actually isn't a bad guy in real life), who was a part of Kelly’s tribe, decided to get rid of a member of their tribe, Clarence, since Lex realized that Clarence would win just about everything. Everyone agreed that Clarence was a threat, so they were cool with getting rid of him. However, Clarence conceded the immunity challenge to Teresa, who agreed not to vote for him. She voted for Lex. Lex was enraged. He complained about getting that vote and tried to figure out who cast it. Teresa smartly didn’t admit to it, so Lex assumed that it was Kelly, and decided to boot her. Our hero got wind of the plan and tried to stop it but Brandon apparently decided that it would be better to betray everyone on his former tribe and Kelly was unjustly voted out. Poetic justice prevailed as Brandon was voted out the next week. (Despite putting Kelly in the line of fire, Teresa was immediately forgiven because she was the next-best person in that season.)

But while she didn’t win the million dollars, she won something even better: my eternal adoration. Ok, I guess that really isn’t better, but at least she didn’t have to pay taxes on it.

ETA: Not really intended as an edit bump, but I guess it serves that purpose too ;)