Mandatory Tipping OUTRAGE in HOUSTOUN in Off Topic Forum

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Mandatory Tipping OUTRAGE in HOUSTOUN

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squashthebeef		#161	[-]
Posts: 40206 05/07/12 03:33 PM With great power comes great snacks. Reply Quote More Recent Posts	more of a punch than a pat, but sure.
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Powers		#162	[-]
Posts: 20853 05/07/12 03:46 PM Total manwhore Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Speaking of patting the help on the ass, I'm suddenly reminded of a time during my youth that I flew to Disneyland with my grandparents when I was probably 5 or so. My grandfather had his feet in the aisle, and a stewardess (they gladly accepted that moniker back then) was walking by and tripped over his feet. As he apologized, she said "sir, you pat me on my rear, you can even pinch me, but please don't try to trip me". She laughed, several of the neighboring passengers laughed, and I sat there mortified. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. /sharing
Crocodile pop tarts		#163	[-]
Posts: 3022 05/07/12 04:25 PM Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Powers wrote: Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Sure. Now get off the chest of the stewardess.
merkyl		#164	[-]
Posts: 79910 05/07/12 04:43 PM Registered loser Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Great, next we'll have more of Powers' "recovered memories" about all those uncles and their special hugs.
Powers		#165	[-]
Posts: 20853 05/07/12 04:47 PM Total manwhore Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Yep. My favorite uncle story was that of my Uncle Carlton that I've heard my mom tell a million times. Once, he gave me a nickel, which I was so proud of that I showed my parents. My mom said "what do you say to Uncle Carlton?", just like all parents do to their poorly mannered children. I reportedly said "can I have another nickel?". True story. /boring
squashthebeef		#166	[-]
Posts: 40206 05/07/12 04:49 PM With great power comes great snacks. Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Regular little Macaulay Culkin, weren't you?
RoMa		#167	[-]
Posts: 41693 05/07/12 04:52 PM Demanding BuMa Reply Quote More Recent Posts	I bet Powers tips more than 20% if the server pinches his ass.
Powers		#168	[-]
Posts: 20853 05/07/12 04:56 PM Total manwhore Reply Quote More Recent Posts	I'll never forget the Christmas that I had asked for a remote control car. I had to have been 8 or so and it was all I wanted. My dad opened one of his gifts, and sure enough, there was a R/C car, exactly like the one I wanted. I insisted that it was mine, until my dad showed me that it was addressed to him. Even then, I swore it was a mistake, but I was crushed as he wasn't giving it up. He even took it out and started playing with it a little. They let me twist in the wind for a few gifts until I was steered to a well hidden box behind the tree that held my very own car. /my parents have been pw3ng me like a n00b since 1969
APG		#169	[-]
Posts: 13963 05/07/12 04:57 PM Enterprising... And pretty good at it Reply Quote More Recent Posts	As long as they aren't fat.
Powers		#170	[-]
Posts: 20853 05/07/12 05:00 PM Total manwhore Reply Quote More Recent Posts	If they're fat, then I give them the following tip: "eat less, exercise more".
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UndifferentCow		#171	[-]
Posts: 14584 05/07/12 05:02 PM Reply Quote More Recent Posts	My my, a weird little trip down memory lane. Thanks sir..
AunTC		#172	[-]
Posts: 83 05/07/12 05:06 PM Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Take a guy, who whenever he's caught with a young girl, mutters, "I'm her uncle" in a Texas drawal, then add the funny way kids hear/repeat words and a username is born. "I'm Merkyl." Unpossible?
Powers		#173	[-]
Posts: 20853 05/07/12 05:10 PM Total manwhore Reply Quote More Recent Posts	I got tons of them. When I was about 9, we decided to sell apples door to door to the neighbors. We had a pippin tree in our back yard, so we grabbed as many apples as we could and put them in our wagon and started walking throughout the neighborhood. We didn't sell many, but I must have eaten 10 of those fuckers by the time I got to the end of the street. I started to feel them working their way though my system...quickly. I turned around and started waddling home with my cheeks pressed together to stop the oncoming tide, but it wasn't working. By the time I made it home, my tighty whities were a mess, I had shit running down my leg, and I barely made it to the downstairs bathroom before all hell broke loose. /dumb&dumber moment
APG		#174	[-]
Posts: 13963 05/07/12 05:11 PM Enterprising... And pretty good at it Reply Quote More Recent Posts	AunTC wrote: Take a guy, who whenever he's caught with a young girl, mutters, "I'm her uncle" in a Texas drawal, then add the funny way kids hear/repeat words and a username is born. "I'm Merkyl." Unpossible? The story merk tells is that he heard the name being called for seating in a restaurant and decided that he would be that name. It was before Merkel became HBIC in Germany.
AunTC		#175	[-]
Posts: 83 05/07/12 05:15 PM Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Was it LA Fisherman, cause it sounds fishy to me. And you could have at least corrected it to "drawl" for me.
UndifferentCow		#176	[-]
Posts: 14584 05/07/12 05:17 PM Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Omg where is youfist? He woulda loved that story I have a tale, but it was guavas, and my father thought they were poison. I ate my weight in this delicious fruits and my dad promptly made me throw them up. Still can't smell or eat one to this day.
scribers		#177	[-]
Posts: 4680 05/07/12 05:18 PM Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Powers wrote: I got tons of them. When I was about 9, we decided to sell apples door to door to the neighbors. We had a pippin tree in our back yard, so we grabbed as many apples as we could and put them in our wagon and started walking throughout the neighborhood. We didn't sell many, but I must have eaten 10 of those fuckers by the time I got to the end of the street. I started to feel them working their way though my system...quickly. I turned around and started waddling home with my cheeks pressed together to stop the oncoming tide, but it wasn't working. By the time I made it home, my tighty whities were a mess, I had shit running down my leg, and I barely made it to the downstairs bathroom before all hell broke loose. /dumb&dumber moment Let it out powers. We've all shit our pants before.
Penelope McBagpipe		#178	[-]
Posts: 34952 05/07/12 05:36 PM Geenyus extraordinaire Reply Quote More Recent Posts	A friend of mine used to squeeze warm dogshit through her toes when we were like 6 or 7. The same girl tried to drown me in a lake not too long after that. Looking back I'm thinking maybe there was something wrong with her.
APG		#179	[-]
Posts: 13963 05/07/12 05:38 PM Enterprising... And pretty good at it Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Something wrong other than she was Canookian?
ScruffyGuy		#180	[-]
Posts: 24500 05/07/12 05:42 PM Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Penelope McBagpipe wrote: The same girl tried to drown me in a lake not too long after that. Well, honey-pie... why didn't you just SAY that years ago? Oxygen deprivation during a crucial developmental stage. Now I understand. I'm sorry for being mean to you. You can log onto the net all by yourself and get dressed without any help and I think that's just swell. You're doing great.
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Mandatory Tipping OUTRAGE in HOUSTOUN